Today is yet another day,Thursday, exactly five four in the afternoon. I finished my goal. It’s not exactly my goal, I’m trying to laugh but it’s a matter of fact that I really love to watch movies which thrills me a lot, excessively, those movies that focuses on logic things and crime investigations. Sometimes, having this kind of imagination, I would probably advice myself not to watch movies that have these kind of genres because I would run crazy for a month thinking about the movie. Well, can’t explain it but its true.

*sigh* to be frank I’m still thinking and wondering about my life, about how I move things on my own free will. It disturbs me a lot though, and I thought of this twice, even thrice to be exact.

“Sometimes, being normal is not enough to prove that you are one…”

I’ve learn so many things from the past few days after I’ve wrote my first statements. Theoretically, they may be true at least for some person like me. I’ve thought of so many things already and yet it still disturbs me. Actually, I can’t remember why I’m doing this journal or how or even I can’t understand it. It’s a matter of fact that I’m always fascinated to extraordinary things and supernatural beings. OMG! It triggers. I mean, *sigh* I always do that. Sorry, so back to the topic.

Today is Saturday, August 30, 2008. Tomorrow is our Fiesta. I mean, in our country we traditionally observe things such as this. But it won’t affect us anyway since we don’t actually celebrate this kind of occasion, sort of. Tomorrow also would be our Family Sunday. You know, families gather around the church ground to celebrate and have fellowship with each other. We have lots of snacks and food and excitements. It’s fun though.

You know, now I realize. I don’t think I’ve already found the answers to my questions towards him but I’ve got some of the missing puzzle pieces as my clues. Well, puzzle pieces such as; I love him so much. Being in love with him instructs my mind to command my heart to feel things which aren’t supposed to be.
Well, it sounds a little destructive and oblique. Let me state it again,

“…Being in love with him instructs my mind to command my heart to feel things which aren’t supposed to be.”

Speaking of obliqueness which means indirect, it’s also ambiguous, you know, a statement with lots of meanings. I admit I can’t explain it directly but I’ll try. Well, I love him and I know and I would not doubt that he loves me more than I do. So, it’s just not fair in his side. Anyways, that’s not my point. I love him just the way he is so it’s not impossible for me to think of things such as; what if he had another one or found another which can give him more than what I could give. But I believe, now that I realize that he loves me more than I do.

Sometimes, I insisted that it also depends upon my mood, my mood towards him every time we meet. Sometimes, I insisted that I don’t care for someone like him anymore, that all it takes is to be friends with him and no special treatment at all, but I was wrong. Things change as time passes by.